’THE IMPORTANCE OF PREMARITAL COUNSELING’ Part 2

Abraham Unknown: So would you say he is still with you because of the ring and commitment? Obviously not! For instance, when my wife gets back from work, and she takes off her wig, puts her shoes anywhere, becomes free, and becomes herself, I won’t leave her because of that. As you are about to get married, wouldn’t you want to know what you are getting yourself into?

Speaker 2: With regard to honesty, there is a level that it must not reach, because if she becomes more honest I might lose interest or be scared away. She must not become too honest, she must leave space for me to know her better.

Q: So do you want to get married to the truth or the lie?

A: The truth, but there is a level of honesty that she should not go beyond. It is the truth, but she should not reveal it at a certain time. Similar to salvation we were told we will receive freedom, but as time goes you realize somethings you must work for. It is the truth but in it, we must go through it in levels.

Q: With regards to hair, if she does not tell you that it is a wig then you later realize it is a wig? Holding herself and saying she will reveal in marriage. Will you say she was honest waiting to reveal herself in marriage?

A: Personally, that is not honesty, because I already know it is a wig, it is fake I already know. That one I understand, but if I asked her such question and she lied, then it means there are bigger lies which she is hiding from me.

Abraham Unknown: Concerning salvation, it is not a lie, but we did not ask further questions. We were told that we will receive freedom but did not know that will we become slaves of Christ. We are now slaves to Christ. In premarital counseling, we addressing such, as a couple there are certain things which you have not addressed, and these things play an important role. There are certain things you should not please a person by hiding them. Imagine hiding your child for a person to be with you.

There is peer pressure in church, people hide that they have children, people hide that they have ex-girlfriends and boyfriends, and they hide their health statuses. Due to judgmental looks or because righteousness is preached, they hide the truth. There are incidents where people married certain people thinking they are virgins while they were not, and only realized that they are not virgins during the honeymoon.

Marriage The Throne of God
(Extracts from the book)

• PLANNING TO GET MARRIED Pg. 40

Marital counseling checks what is necessary and relevant for all seasons. (a) Support is necessary, you need emotional support be it there is money or not. (b) Loyalty is important, whether you have finances or not, your spouse must be loyal to you. (c) Protection also, you need protection, whether there are material things or not; you must protect each other, and lastly, responsibility.

Abraham Unknown: Is this person responsible? You can have a responsible person who does not have money, and again have an irresponsible person who has money; a person who wastes money on you. With regards to being responsible, for example, there might be two individuals who are both millionaires and providing for their family. The other is just spending money and being wasteful as he does not care what happens with money, but the other might be providing because he wants his family to have everything; that is a responsible one.

Some people seem responsible because they have money, yet they are just spending it. It is important to check if your spouse is responsible and with premarital counseling we able to see that; not by looking at the bank statement but based on how we converse with you. It is often easy for your spiritual father to do premarital counseling as he knows you because you have been serving at church. Responsibility is not only seen in finances but even when a person is serving at church. You can see that the person is responsible through their behavior in the rightful department which they serve in at church. An unpolished shoe says a lot about a person, it tells you whether the person is careless or not.

Finances are not the primary factor in marriage. We should not put finances as the core factor, but we should not ignore the issue of finances. Hence, it is important to check if the person can bear. There are certain individuals who cannot bear with poverty. So do not push yourself where you cannot go. People call others gold-diggers but I have a different definition of “gold-digger” – I say a person who cannot bear with poverty is not a gold-digger, but a person who can be with someone because of money is a gold-digger. Some people cannot bear poverty. From the get-go be honest, if you cannot sleep with an empty stomach then your spouse should know that even if they become unemployed there must be food in the house.

Before people get married they should know each other’s limits. Every person has limits, there is only so much that they can handle. Some are in a state where they are grumpy, it is not that they do not love you, but the love they have for you is not on the same level. If as individuals we did not have limits, then the Bible would not have said that God won’t allow a temptation that is above us.

As a result, some people sin while waiting to be financially well. Many end up sinning they say they cannot get married because they do not have money, but again they are being intimate, rather than marrying. The most important thing is that you do not sin!

Health Pg. 41

This is a huge thing happening in the church. Many are shocked because of this, and some are affected by this. There was a lady who had a counseling session with my wife, she is married to a man of God, she became pregnant and later she realized she is HIV positive, and she was a virgin and never slept with anyone other than the husband. It could have happened that the husband was involved with someone before they were married and he became infected and did not get tested.

Q: As you are married, and let us say you did not do premarital counseling with us. You become pregnant and you get tested and find that you HIV positive, how would you feel?

Speaker 3: I would be so hurt, very hurt and I would hate my husband.

Abraham Unknown: Yes, you will feel cornered. This can be regarded as rape when you hide your status. Rape is not just physical coercion, but hiding such and you get married. The problem with the church is that it is too trusting although even the Bible we read it states that do not trust anyone but God only.

Q: As a guy how would you feel you go and get tested, and to only find that you are HIV positive, how would you feel?

Speaker 2: I would be traumatized because by merely observing people who are infected with HIV, how they are, and the state they are in, this will bring that mentality to me before I even reach that stage. Anger will rise for my spouse, I’d think she was sneaking and sleeping around.

Q: Are you the kind of people who do things to please the other, because you are scared of hurting them? Because certain people even after testing positive they still go ahead and marry them, how far can you try and not hurt the next person at the expense of your life and joy?

Speaker 1: You are with a person who is HIV positive unaware then after you get married you realize that you are HIV positive, it is like the person has already caused damage to you. Their motive was to infect you with the disease, and if you are to leave that person, it won’t be hurtful because their intentions were not pure from the beginning.

Abraham Unknown: The Book “Marriage the Throne of God” is currently sold out, it’s unfortunate that you cannot purchase it as it has been sold out for the past two months. It is said and believed that this is the best selling book as it is being purchased rapidly. However, you will soon be able to buy it.

Note: Click on the link below to watch the Sunday Service with Abigail and Abraham Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/YeshuaMinistries1/videos/311722269939556/

Your Father Through The Gospel
Abraham Unknown

YESHUA; A CITY ON A HILL, THE LIGHT THAT CANNOT BE HIDDEN!